


NSFW (Not Safe for Wedding)

by RebeccaOTool



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Crack, Drabble, Fluff, Height difference, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Magic, Oneshot, Pocket John, Porn, Porn Without Plot, Pre-The Sign of Three, Series 3, Short, Shrinking, Smutty, Spoilers, just a few, shrank, shrunk, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-09 16:23:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1148133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebeccaOTool/pseuds/RebeccaOTool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John better admit his true feelings for Sherlock, or the consequences will be dire. A smutty drabble based on a doodle by ppworkspace on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	NSFW (Not Safe for Wedding)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [a little nsfw pocket john doodle](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/34642) by ppworkspace. 



Not gay. How many times did he have to say it? He was not gay. Never had been. Aside from a few (disturbingly pleasant) experiences during his service, he’d never been with a man. Nor had any desire to.

John Hamish Watson was. Not. Gay.

Not that there was anything wrong with it, mind you. But he wasn’t. Nope.

Maybe, finally, at long last, this wedding would dispel the rumors. He loved Mary, and he was going to marry her, and all this nonsense would stop.

Sherlock appeared behind him, half dressed. “Still working on the tuxedo? I thought Mary would have wanted you by now.”

"Bride and Groom don’t see each other before the wedding." John struggled with his tie.

Sherlock thought about this for a moment. “Sentiment?”

"Yeah."

Sherlock watched him struggle, but didn’t offer to help. “I was thinking about that last case, and I wanted your input on something.”

"Not really the best—"

"What do you think that supposed ‘Gypsy’ was implying when she told you to ‘sort out your feeling before the wedding, or you’ll spend your life the smaller man’?" Sherlock was referring to a so called Gypsy fortune teller they’d questioned recently.

"Probably trying to get me to pay her for a reading. Or it was just a short joke." John grumbled, frustrated with his tie. "Damnit!"

"Need a hand?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Sherlock got right behind him, reached around John’s throat, and began tying his tie. He was pressed into John’s back. John could feel his long thin body—

But nope, this wasn’t weird. Just a best man helping out the Groom. Normal. That’s what the feeling was when Sherlock pressed against him like that. Normal.

“You think she was the one who took Lady Green’s ring?” John swallowed hard.

“Oh no, that was the Lord’s butler.” Sherlock looped the tie neatly.

“If you’ve already solved it, then why are we discussing it?” John asked, annoyed. He had more important things on his mind.

“It is relevant to your situation.”

“How is a missing ring relevant? I didn’t lose the Wedding ring.”

“Not the ring, the warning.”

“Fine. How is the warning the gypsy gave us relevant?” John turned around with a huff.

And looked up a good deal farther than he was used to.

“Because you’ve lost at least ten centimeters in height.” Sherlock placed a hand on the top of John’s head.

John spun around, to confirm this in the mirror. His clothes still fit him, but the mirror itself was higher up the wall. Everything was higher up. “Jesus Sherlock! What—”

“I am attempting to deduce what, shut up a bit.” Sherlock dissected him. John shifted nervously, knowing that screaming wouldn’t help.

“It wasn’t a warning, per say. More like a curse.” He declared.

“That’s not reasonable.” John objected. “Curses only work with the placebo effect, they can’t bloody shrink a person!”

“Nothing can shrink a person.” Sherlock agreed. “Yet there you stand, large as life. Or small, rather.”

“That is not funny!” John snapped. “I can’t go into the church like this!”

“Clearly not.” Sherlock agreed. “You’d end up dreadfully tiny.”

“What?!”

“Well, whatever caused this is still happening.” Sherlock grabbed John’s small hands in his own. “No, don’t run, it’ll just make things worse I think. Be still.”

Oh God, he was right. Everything was getting bigger. “Sherlock, I need a doctor or something!”

“You are a doctor. Do you feel sick?”

“I feel like I shouldn’t be shrinking!” God, he was only four feet high, and Sherlock was towering over him.

Sherlock looked disturbed as well. “According to the fortune teller, this is because you’re holding back on some sort of feeling. Think John! Are you upset about the wedding?”

“No!”

“Are you not in love with Mary?” Sherlock’s tone grew sharp as John dwindled to three feet.

“NO!”

“You’re attracted to someone el—”

“DAMNIT SHERLOCK, NO!” John’s voice squeaked upwards as his vocal cords shrank. He was the size of a doll and shrinking fast. “Just get help!”

“I think we’re past that.” Sherlock turned and locked the door behind them. “This isn’t a matter for scientists, much as I’m distressed to admit. Your clothes are shrinking, so this isn’t organic in nature. If that was even possible.”

John backed away from the giant in front of him, heart hammering. “Sherlock, I’m going to shrink away to nothing! Do something!”

“You are not going to shrink to nothing.” Sherlock reached down and then his massive hands were wrapping around John’s doll-sized body. “Do you trust me?”

“What?!”

“Do you trust me, John?!” He carried John upwards, and John slammed his eyes shut to keep from being sick.

“Yes, I—”

“Good.” Sherlock laid him on the tabletop.

The white cloth was rumpled, but John hardly noticed. All his attention was on the skyscraper-height Sherlock. His pointer finger was nearly as long as John was tall. And slowly getting bigger. “Oh God, Sherlock, I’m going to vanish—”

“No, you’re not.” Sherlock’s massive fingers came at him, and John squeezed his eyes closed. He was trembling, but he hardly cared. He was about to vanish into some sub-atomic micro world and Sherlock was…was…

Sherlock was thrusting his long fingers against John’s cock.

His eyes sprang open. Sherlock’s face was blank, calm. John took a shuddery breath.

“What the hell, Sherlock!”

“You have been denying your feelings for far too long.” Sherlock said softly, swirling his fingers. With his free hand he undid John’s shirt. It was amazing—even with buttons that tiny, Sherlock could manage.

“…S…Sherlock…please stop…” John placed a shaky hand on the massive digit.

“You said you trusted me. Let me do this.” Sherlock insisted quietly.

“But I’m…not…” John moaned and lay back. That felt bloody amazing. “Sh-Sh-Sherlock! Fuck.”

“Don’t say anything. Denial is what got you into this fix.” Sherlock’s warm breath washed over him.

All thoughts dissolved as Sherlock did something that left John unable to think. God. Those skilled hands. He wanted those hands around his cock.

‘But…I’m not gay.’ A tiny voice insisted in the back of his mind.

‘You’re a bloody bisexual, so shut up!’ A new, stronger voice snapped. ‘Just fucking enjoy something for once in your life without questioning it.’

Well. That explained a lot.

The strokes from above were coming faster now. John opened his eyes. Sherlock didn’t seem nearly so massive as before.

“Wait.” He sat up and pushed the fingers away.

Sherlock looked confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Not. But I’d rather do this with both of us full sized.” John hopped off the table as soon as he was big enough. He was growing rather quickly at that.

Sherlock watched him, fascinated. “So, you are gay?”

“Bisexual.” John corrected him. “I love Mary, make no mistake. But I love you too.”

“And…the wedding?”

John’s face flamed. “I’ll speak to her in a while. We’ve a few hours yet. Though, she has said in the past that if I needed an occasional…um…well, let’s just say, I think she’ll be okay with this.”

Finally, he was back to size.

“And what have we learned, John?” Sherlock pulled him onto a small couch far away from the room’s doors and windows.

“That I can’t keep anything a secret from you.” As he was pulled down, John made a mental note to find that Gypsy later. He had a lot of questions for her.

But they could wait.

0o0o0o0o0

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> I don't normally ship Johnlock (or really, Sherlock and anyone) but ppworkspace's drawing lodged in my brain and didn't let go. Please check out of ppworkspace's wonderful stuff.


End file.
